


The Truth Hurts (worse than anything I could bring myself to do to you)

by heavvymetalqueen



Category: Metal Gear
Genre: Age Difference, Dissociation, Drug Use, F/M, heavily implied ocelot situational bisexuality
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-17
Updated: 2017-07-17
Packaged: 2018-12-03 08:52:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11528829
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heavvymetalqueen/pseuds/heavvymetalqueen
Summary: Liquid blinks. Right. They have a little girl. She’s...part of the plan, right? His hand shakes lightly on the mouse. He’s not sure why she is, these days. Something about computers? A little girl....short hair so fair it looks white...





	The Truth Hurts (worse than anything I could bring myself to do to you)

**Author's Note:**

> I am genuinely shaking posting this because I'm worried people are gonna hate it. But I needed to write it, or this headcanon was going to ruin me.

Liquid Ocelot is bored.

It’s obvious there’s nothing of importance in the databases of the crushed little metal gear lying on his desk with its legs in the air like a dead cockroach. Emmerich is not that stupid.

And yet something, like a voice at the back of his head that is incredibly insistent sometimes, demanded he connects the guts of the robot with a laptop and checks everything.

Most of it is Chinese to him. He doesn’t understand technology at all. He never had to. He had scientists for that.

Finally he finds a compressed folder that’s not entirely code or recordings of Emmerich’s whiny voice. It’s pictures.

He bares his teeth as he sees the first few pictures of his brother. He looks so old. Serves him right. He had to take over this old fuck’s body, and it gives him a shiver of glee to know David probably can’t get it up to satisfy his cute little husband these days.

After all, it was what he was counting on when he sent Naomi in to seduce Emmerich.

But then there’s more pictures, of the inside of that plane they’re using as a safehouse. Chickens. Emmerich, and Liquid barely recognizes him. Terrorism made him surprisingly handsome, for a nerd.

He’s almost surprised when he sees Naomi between the hi-def faces. He’s pretty sure he’s never seen her smile in his or Ocelot’s life. She’s always been a dour, angry person.

And yet she is smiling, laughing even, along with a little girl.

Liquid blinks. Right. They have a little girl. She’s...part of the plan, right? His hand shakes lightly on the mouse. He’s not sure why she is, these days. Something about computers? A little girl....short hair so fair it looks white...

Liquid’s bionic hand clenches on the mouse, almost breaking it. He’s suddenly nauseous, dizzy. It feels like his body is lagging behind, his mind flooding with memories he never had.

~~Red gloves holding scissors, cutting platinum hair into short tufts.~~

Liquid Ocelot crumples onto the desk, breath shallow.

~~Her muscular arm beating one long lost at arm wrestling. Her cute snorting laugh.~~

“Get out of my head you disgusting old fuck,” he slurs.

~~Her nose red with blistering cold, scrunched up in laughter. A language he should not remember.~~

~~“Really, Shalashaska? No women at all?”~~

~~“I have made...”~~

“...exceptions,” he croaks into the desktop. “God, I don’t want to know.”

He thought he’d smothered Ocelot for good. Killed the old bastard in the back of his own head, strangled him with his own psychosis. But now he’s back and he’s not letting go.

~~Images hazy with vodka, scarred muscular chest, small breasts pressed to his face, short nails in his back.~~

~~“Aren’t I too old for you?”~~

~~“Men my age are all cowards. All scared of me.”~~

~~Rock hard hips in his palms. She smells of sweat and gun oil.~~

~~“They don’t know how to appreciate the good things in life.”~~

~~Her laughter as she kisses him.~~

~~Women always felt weird to him.~~

Liquid rolls out of the chair. His legs aren’t holding him up, so he crawls. He just needs to get to his cabinet. Grab the edge, pull himself up even if the whole world is tilting under him.

His drugs are in the first drawer. He empties it all on the floor. One vial breaks and dark liquid seeps into the carpet like a drop of blood.

~~“I don’t care if it’s dangerous. I’m keeping it.”~~

~~Her hand curved protectively around the smallest bump, barely stretching the straight lines of the telnyashka.~~

~~“Shalashaska, you know it’s...”~~

“Don’t,” croaks Liquid, filling a syringe with shaking hands.

~~“Don’t tell anybody. Not even your father.”~~

~~“Are you ashamed of it?”~~

“No,” growls Liquid, pulling his tie tight around his arm with his teeth. His veins rise against his skin, the hundreds of fossilized holes looking up at him, bruised and dark.

He doesn’t have many veins left to use these days, but he won’t need to keep going for much longer. He sticks the needle into the throbbing vein close to the wrist, half hidden in the disgusting scars of the old man.

~~His hand smashing a glass cabinet, shards embedded in his fist, blood making his gloves redder.~~

~~“Not again. Not another one.”~~

~~Glass shards crunch into his palm.~~

~~“Not _my_...”~~

Liquid presses the plunger, squeezing his eyes against the throbbing hate of the old man’s memories. He doesn’t care. He doesn’t care. He doesn’t care he doesn’t care he doesn’t....

~~“The kid is safe,” says a voice through the phone, a woman both feel an odd attachment to. “Jack...Raiden...he wants to take her to David. I’m not sure...”~~

~~“Let him. No safer place than the eye of the storm.”~~

~~“Funny you should care. Getting soft in your old age?”~~

~~“I just don’t want anybody to grow up like we did, Eva.”~~

Ocelot falls into his chemical slumber again, his anger ebbing out in their still shaking body.

“Sir?”

Liquid looks up at Naomi standing in the doorway, her worried eyes pink and swollen.

They’re all so tired.

It will be over soon.

“I’m fine,” he grunts, getting back on his feet.

“Are you sure?”

“I’m _fine_.” He drops into the chair, nods his head at the screen. “Did you talk with the kid much?”

Naomi blinks. “A little bit. She’s very smart. Very shy. She’s a good kid.” She smiles, almost, and then her face hardens. “We’re not going to....right?”

Liquid shakes his head. Even if he wanted to use the kid against his brother, he’s pretty sure Ocelot wouldn’t let him. The reason is escaping him now, though. It doesn't matter. Nothing will matter in two days' time. “We need her where she is.”

“Right.”

Liquid looks at the little girl shyly smiling at the camera.

He deletes the entire folder with a flick of the mouse.

“Let’s get back to work.”

He feels nothing. Remembers nothing.

Just like he’s supposed to.


End file.
